It has been said that by the time we reach the age of 35 we are just a set of computer programs that define our behaviors, beliefs and emotions.
Many people have also said that beyond this age you can’t change – you know the saying: ‘you can’t teach an old dog new tricks’
Tony Robbins says that we live our lives in the frame of our ‘six core needs’. One of these is ‘certainty.’ Often people feel they can’t change because they think they are ‘hard wired’ to want certainty – get up at the same time, go to bed at the same time, hang around the same friends – etc.
Well I say that the idea that you cannot change is baloney!
Like most computers, you can be re-programmed. You can change if the will is there. And that is the point: you need to have a strong will and desire to change things if they do not suit you.
Furthermore, you also need to believe that you can change. That belief needs to be so strong that it overcomes any fear of change. Remember that fear is merely your subconscious mind resisting change.
That is not to say that regularity or certainty doesn’t serve you. It’s just that there are both resourceful and non-resourceful ways that we use regularity.
For instance a resourceful use of certainty would be making good use of your diary, having good control of your resources, etc. Non-resourceful use of certainty would be needing to control everything that happens in your life.
There are many ways that you can change your beliefs. I have talked about affirmations before. Make an affirmation that describes the ‘new you.’ Make sure it is in the present tense – it describes your desired new state as already having been achieved. Repeat it daily twice a day before bed and upon awakening. After about 30 days this should be programmed into your mind and it should become the ‘new regularity.’
Regularly meditate. Research has shown that meditators are literally changing their brains – the essence of learning – and are more flexible with their life. They are more able to release their attachment to regularity and ‘go with the flow.’
So it all boils down to: if you want change are you willing to accept the non-certainty it entails, and are you willing to put in the work required?